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Homesickness

by Jason Sill

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1.
Hometown 04:21
We ran through the park way past midnight Searching for nothing, who cares We didn't even notice the streetlights Cast shadows on sunburns and bug-bites in the muggy air I discovered I yawn when I'm nervous Before a foot-race on rubber by the road My shoes had chewed holes in the surface We stayed off the concrete concurrently fast and slow I cling to this hometown suffocating In the embrace of soon leaving for good I sing to this hometown, heart aching Love you forever if only I could The rumble of traffic felt distant We'd crossed those streets often before We lingered at every decision But the cars went by blink and you missed 'em, too quick to be sure I cling to this hometown suffocating In the embrace of soon leaving for good I sing to this hometown, heart aching Love you forever if only I could Your hands gently glide while you're steering Radio might as well not be on The rumble of traffic and rubber on road I can't hear a word of the song
2.
I wouldn't miss a thing If you brought me back tomorrow, set me right back where I'd been I wouldn't miss a thing Stick me back inside the car going round trip, second leg I wouldn't miss a thing Sunflower wallpaper Doesn't turn to face the window Unfamiliar accommodation Moving way too fast to follow I wouldn't miss a thing If you brought me back tomorrow, set me right back where I'd been I wouldn't miss a thing Stick me back inside the car going round trip, second leg I wouldn't miss a thing Gardenia wallpaper Never made the time to get to know you I'll waver h-hesitator The sweetest scents need pollination I wouldn't miss a thing Rosewater teardrops trace rosy cheeks Fall in a bouquet, land at my feet Picked up, left to dry as posters and pictures You know, you know that's Rose-tinted wallpaper Rose-tinted wallpaper Rose-tinted wallpaper Rose-tinted wallpaper
3.
You and I, we grew together evergreens Every mistake, the heartaches of sixteen Up way past midnight speaking in dreams You and I, we grew together evergreens You and I are a wooden figurine Whittled from woodblocks, cut from two trees Coated in colors in the fall when I leave You and I are a wooden figurine Sandpaper stopwatch, the grain slips away Hourglass of sawdust counts miles left 'till the transmission breaks Sandpaper stopwatch, the grain slips away Hourglass of sawdust counts days I can keep up this pace You and I, I'll meet you somewhere in between Pack up our bags and then plan where we'll meet It's so many miles, guess we cant guarantee You and I, I'll meet you somewhere in between If you start to feel me fade, it's because I'm far away I get so lost in the running just to catch up day-to-day And the day-to-days start to pile up 'till I'm stuck running in place It's a slow and calm erosion, then you start to feel me fade Sandpaper stopwatch, the grain slips away Hourglass of sawdust counts miles left 'till the transmission breaks Sandpaper stopwatch, the grain slips away Hourglass of sawdust counts years I can keep up this pace Goodbye abruptly and goodbye so slowly I think of you often but I tell you so rarely Goodbye abruptly and goodbye so slowly Nothing prevents us from dialing and calling Goodbye abruptly and goodbye so slowly We're good as we used to be except that we're strangers Goodbye abruptly and goodbye so slowly Goodbye abruptly and goodbye so slowly Goodbye abruptly and goodbye so slowly Goodbye abruptly and goodbye so slowly
4.
Headed for the city Notice there are so many bright streetlights Steer around the corner Notice there are so many one-way signs Even when I'm sleeping Notice that I grind my teeth at night Feels like that same erosion Notice how few roses made the ride Drove here in thirty minutes Notice it takes years for me to run And it's been over nine years Since I could really stay for more than one So when we find Temporary peace So when we find Temporary peace We hold onto Temporary peace Stepping stone to stepping stone To stepping stone to stepping stone Stepping stone to stepping stone To stepping stone When we find Temporary peace We hold onto Temporary Peace When we find Temporary peace We hold onto Temporary Peace
5.
Homesickness 04:34
I wonder if this Homesickness Could be a word for somewhere I have never known Not somewhere old Somewhere to grow And get attached to while you learn its ins and outs Like I've been learning how to try to live without Homesick For somewhere I can trust and believe in Homesick For somewhere I wonder if this Homesickness is From balancing everything I love without a home Here I hope And make the most Of every place to makeshift place I run around And every temporary peace that's lost and found Homesick For somewhere I can trust and believe in Homesick For somewhere I wonder if this Homesickness Could be a word for somewhere I have never known Where flowers and roads Are comforts you hold No matter where you go, you'll always keep them close Feeling homesick for a new place I'd call home Homesick For somewhere I can trust and believe in Homesick For somewhere

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released September 17, 2021

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Jason Sill Brooklyn, New York

Wisconsin boy in Brooklyn.

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